063: Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas - The Power of Thinking Yourself Confident

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Jonathan, I’m super excited. Thank you so much for inviting me. It’s going to be a good show. Thank you so much.

Jonathan DeYoe: Let’s have some fun first. Where do you call home and where are you connecting from?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: I’m connecting from Vancouver, BC. Well, south of Vancouver. I’m in White Rock, just on the border of the state of Washington. I’m in Canada. I’m from the east coast, originally from the province of Quebec, the french area of Canada, and I now live on the coast.

Jonathan DeYoe: And you’ve been running companies for a long time. So let’s go back. Before you were doing that, what did you learn about money and entrepreneurship growing up?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Wow. Like probably everybody else, I have excellence in, uh, creating, limiting beliefs about money. Money doesn’t go on trees and you have to work hard for your money. And, uh, the best one was when you make more money, you spend more money. So you always live paycheck to paycheck. I actually was in business before owning a printing business. We have over 100 staff. And one day we do what we do with a business. You make money, and at one point, people want to acquire you. We sold the business. We made a lot of money. I was in my 20s, could have potentially not work for the rest of my life with this money. Two years later, where was it gone. Because I was really good at making money, but very good at spending it, too. Lots of learnings. Lots of learnings. And I realized that the biggest learning of all was not how to invest it or how to like this knowledge exists, and we all know. We know the knowledge. It starts with how you think about money in your head and all these limiting beliefs. I had to get rid of those limiting beliefs, especially that one. When you make more money, you spend more money. So you always live paycheck to paycheck. So I had to see abundance differently. I had to change my mindset about money, which I’m still really good at making money, and now I’m much better at keeping it.

Jonathan DeYoe: Where do you think that comes from? That if you make more money, you spend more money? Where did that originate for you?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: I do believe that the way that we talk to ourselves, the voice that repeats in your head, in French, we have an expression that says. Meaning that you were born for a small piece of bread. I’m a small town girl. Not in Quebec city, a very small town outside of it. And there’s this limiting belief that you cannot succeed when everybody else is so much better than you. From the big city, right? So I remember when I started my business, I was hearing this voice in my head telling me, what you want to become a speaker in English? You don’t even speak English. You want to write books in English, it’s never going to work. You’re not good enough. Are you kidding me? So I had just moved to Toronto, and I don’t know, if you’ve been there, where you’re new at something, you don’t really know anybody. And then I was teaching fitness in a gym, and I had hardly anybody in my classes. So how do you go from begging your boss, from pulling your classes off the schedule? Because there’s only two people in them. To becoming fitness instructor of the year for Canada. Less than a year later, I’ll tell you what happened. The gym was introducing a new dance program. Nobody knew this, but I have a dance background, so I put my hand up to be part of the demo team. So picture this. You’re on stage, you’re in front of 150 other instructors that are so much better than you. You’re very intimidated, but you’re giving it, and you know that you got this because you see all the faces with a shocked look looking at you, and you know that you got it. So I don’t know what this experience would do for you, but what it did for me, it had a huge impact. I started strutting around in the gym as if I owned it. My classes became packed because I showed so much confidence. And a few months later, somebody corners me in the change room and says, Nathalie I have to tell you, we really started respecting you after what happened to you on that day, because you acted as if it didn’t bother you at all. And I’m like, what’s she talking about? What happened to me on that day? Well, Jonathan, it turns out that I had a wardrobe malfunction on that day. Boom. My boob had been sticking out the whole time during the performance. That is why everybody was looking at me. What a shock to look on their face. But I was responding to a different story in my head. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life could have been really bad, but I was responding to a different story in my head, and I realized that this voice in my head was everything, and it needed to change. And if it was telling me that my English was not good enough, that I would never succeed, I needed to change it. The voice was right. My English was really bad. I remember teaching a yoga class. Everybody’s laying on the ground at the end during the relaxation. And you know what I’m talking about, because you’re going to meditation course, right after you’re facilitating, right? So you’re laying there, all the participants are down, and I wanted them to relax their face, relax their jaw, so I wanted them to put their tongue on the roof of their mouth. So I said, everybody put your song behind your tits. And then everybody started laughing. I didn’t even know what I had said wrong. Anyway, the voice was right. My English was really bad. But guess what? I thought, I need to change that voice inside my head, because I only respond to the stories in my head. So I spent the last 15 years studying neuroscience, created a system to reprogram our mind differently, whether it is for business, for finance, for relationships, for your career, for your money, for anything. And that’s the system I shared in my. It’s 17 now. Number best selling books and all the one on one coaching that I do, the stages that I speak on across the nation and around the world. So that’s what I do now, is teaching that system to reprogram your brain.

Jonathan DeYoe: So you’re on the stage. It’s a year, six months, a year before you find out why they were looking at you on the stage.

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: A little bit less than that. A few months. Yeah, a few months after.

Jonathan DeYoe: And then how long does it take after that? After the realization that, oh, my God, that’s what happened for you to go, you know what? I need to understand the brain. I mean, there’s got to be a sort of incubation period between the realization and, wow, the brain is so powerful. And how did you get from that realization to saying, you know what? I got to study this and go deep? Like, was that a year period? A two year period? How did you get there?

Jonathan DeYoe: Tell us a little bit about your study. Did you stop being a trainer and just go deep into study, or were you studying while you’re being a trainer and learning all the stuff while you’re doing? And then what did you read? What did you listen to? What did you do to sort of develop this program that you built?

Jonathan DeYoe: This is fascinating because I wonder how, and I asked this question from people that don’t quite get the question. So I’m simply put this in a way that’s totally understandable here. I wonder how our culture and our social media ends up affecting, because if I open the paper, I read, this is bad, that’s horrible. This person is this, and it’s bad and it’s bad, bad, and it’s horrible and it’s bad. And if I turn on the radio, I hear a lot about what’s not working. There’s global warming and there’s other stuff that’s bad and it’s horrible and it’s bad. And I do know I have links to a couple of different websites that are positive. And so I do have to pull myself out of the negative and sort of find the positive to sort of build myself up. How do you think that sort of cultural stance or that negativity bias ends up affecting or infecting our outcomes? Because we believe in it and we just sort of wallow in it. Uh, how do you turn that corner and get out of that?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Exactly. And I will give you a specific tool after this, but I’ll answer the question first. So that unconscious mind I was telling you about that has 2.3 million pieces of information every second that it can handle, that personal assistant is receiving information all the time. That negative output that you’re talking about and that tints our orders that we give our personal assistant. So pretend you have this personal assistant with a notepad standing beside you, with a notepad writing down everything that you say or think, and it makes it happen. That personal assistant job is to make you write about whatever you think. The problem is people wake up in the morning, they look at themselves in the mirror, and they say, I’m so tired. I’m so stressed out. Oh, I think I’m gaining weight. Something. Your personal assistant writes it down. Writes that. Tired, stressed out, gaining weight. Okay, perfect. I got this. I’m going to put that on my list. Tired, tired. Oh, I know. I’m going to keep her awake all night. She’s not going to be able to sleep, so she’s going to be really tired in the morning. Check. Stressed out. Oh, I’m going to make her delete a very important appointment in our calendar. Well, that’s going to be stressful. Check. Gaining weight. Oh, I know. I can definitely find a chocolate bar or something deep fried for her to eat today. Check. So your personal assistant is listening to everything, all the input. And if all the input is negative, then it tints the way we talk to our personal assistant. And not only the output, the external stressors. And life, uh, is going fast, right? There’s so much change, and as fast as things are going right now, it’s never going to be this slow again. We have to adapt, and change is not going anywhere terrifying. I’m not there to give you a magic wand to say, here’s how to stop change. But what I do with my clients is I make them be the best version of themselves. Because my clients and I do a lot of corporate work in organization, with ceos, with leaders, decisions they make, and mostly decisions that everybody makes, are worth thousands of dollars. You can’t afford to make a decision based on limiting belief, negative self talk, stress, and because you’re panicking, and then you make a decision quick, or you’re in the kitchen cooking, and then you’re thinking about the bills you have to pay. You have a problem at work, or there’s something that you can’t figure out, or your computer crashed or whatever it is. Your daughter comes behind you and says, hey, dad. And you turn around and you go, what? And you’re like, oh, this is not how I wanted to respond. But you responded with whatever was on top of this drawer as, um, you have access in the drawer of yourself. You have access to you at your best, you know, you wanted to say, yes, sweetie, what can I do for you? You know, the answer. We have the answers. We know what to do. But there’s so much crap that’s accumulated on top that my job is to get rid of what’s in that drawer so that when you open the drawer, you say, yes, sweetie, what can I do for you? And you are at your best, because when you are at your best, when you have access to that 2.3 million piece of information every second, you have all the answers. You are awesome. You know what you should be doing. And sometimes, because we’re tinted with all this negative output and tinted by our own language, which research show that 70% of our thoughts are negative, another piece that you might like, 85% of people suffer from lack of self confidence in at least one area of their life. It is real. So we need to reprogram this negative self talk. And then I’m going to wait for the question because you might say, well, how do you do that? So I’ll answer whatever you ask, but I have a really cool tool that you can use to start lifting the countertop and start getting rid of the old kitchen.

Jonathan DeYoe: So I think we can admit that the mindset is really important on the path to success. Right? So admitting that. So you’re talking about. You don’t talk about the old stuff, you don’t talk about the feelings, you don’t talk about the. But what do you do when somebody comes and says their origin story isn’t great? They come from poverty. They have been told their entire lives that they are awful and they’ll never be successful. And how do you break that? It seems like it’s a privilege to be able to say, from where we sit, we’re successful. Look at what we’ve done. And we both probably came from difficult backgrounds. I don’t even know your background that much, but it’s a privilege to be able to say, look where we are. What about people that really are underprivileged? Really don’t have anyone believing in them, really have gotten the negative messages. How do you transition that? That seems really hard.

Jonathan DeYoe: Can you walk us through, like, a very specific example? I think we’re talking, like, very high level. And so something happens, you have a response that’s negative. How do you get out of that loop? I think this is the tool you have. What is this tool?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: So I’ll give you the specific two step technique. So I do also have a document called 22 questions, so you could go download that@thinkyysoft.com. 22 questions is, how do you get out of stress? So first question is, what am I learning? And then there’s 21 other questions. So what am I learning? Is very important to figure out now the specific technique to get out of an emotional loop or get out of a limiting belief. You heard yourself say something in your head, and you know it’s not serving you. You heard yourself say, oh, I’m so stressed out all the time. And then you’re like, oh, no, what did I just say? My personal assistant just wrote that on their notepad. I don’t want to be stressed. I don’t want to order my personal assistant to be stressed because what’s going to happen if you tell your personal assistant you want to be stressed, it’s going to make sure that you are going to be stressed because it’s listening to what you say. So you have to tell a personal assistant what you want, not what you don’t want. Like, you’re not going to tell your painter to paint your kitchen, not blue, because your contractor is going to be like, what color do you want it? You can’t say not blue. And people do this to me all the time. It’s Nathalie help me. I don’t want to be stressed anymore. I don’t want to be impatient with my kids, and I don’t want to be broke. Stress, rush, impatient, broke. So you need to tell your personal system what you want. So here’s how you do it. You’ve heard of affirmations. A lot of people do affirmations. And the problem is affirmations don’t work, Jonathan, if you don’t believe them. And very often there’s way too big of a disconnect between the reality and the affirmation. When I work with the think yourself wealthy program, with people that are in deep financial struggles, it’s not going to work for me to say, okay, smile and repeat after me, I am rich, or, I’m working with people that want to lose weight. They have, like, over 200 pounds to lose. I’m not going to say, put your hands on your hips, look at yourself in the mirror and say, I, um, am thin. Your personal assistant is like, no, we’re not. Oh, I know. We must be watching a vampire movie. Vampires don’t exist. I’m not writing this down. This is so not. It’s just not talking to me. So here’s the technique. First, you’re going to repeat in your head the statement that you just heard that is polluting you. M. I’m not good enough. I’m so stressed. So you just hear yourself, I’m so stressed all the time. Then you say, wait a minute. I used to be stressed all the time. So you repeat what you just heard. What I used to. In the past, I used to be stressed all the time. So now your personal assistant hears that and it says, oh, yeah, stressed out. I have this on my list right here. Yeah, you’re talking to me. What can I do for you? What, are we talking about this in the past anyway? Are we done with this? Do I scratch that off or what? Perfect. Now it’s time for step number two. Step number two is a progressive statement. A progressive statement starts with, I am willing to learn, or I’m in the process of. Okay, so step number one. I used to think I was stressed all the time. Now I’m willing to learn how to change that. How to change that is very generic. And you can use that. Ah. About any different things you can use, or you can go more specific. Now I’m in the process of building a balanced life. Now I’m willing to learn how to say no, or I’m willing to learn how to meditate. I’m, um, willing to learn how to be more calm. So now you change it with a progressive statement, because now your personal assistant is listening. I used to. Now I’m willing to learn. So, I used to believe that when you lived paycheck to paycheck, that when you made more money, you would spend more and live paycheck to paycheck. And now I’m in the process of changing that. I’m willing to learn how to manage my money better. I’m, um, in the process of people hear themselves say, what’s, uh, an example that everybody says I’m not good enough? Impostor syndrome, right. Oh, everybody’s so much better than me. Oh, my gosh, I wish I was like that. Or I’m not good with technology, bad with technology. A lot of people say that. I used to think I was bad with technology. Now I’m willing to learn where it is that I have to click to go on this podcast, or, uh, where is that I have to click to go on zoom or whatever, right?

Jonathan DeYoe: As a mindfulness practitioner, I sit every single day and monitor my breath. And then I notice when my brain goes someplace besides my breath, and I bring it back to my breath, and I notice it goes someplace, and then I bring it back. And I bring it back, and I bring it back thousands and thousands of times. Is that what it takes? Are we talking for this one two step process? Is it thousands of times to make the change? I mean, do you have to constantly be aware? It’s stressing me out thinking about how aware I’m going to have to be to catch all these things.

Jonathan DeYoe: Two months and a few days seems simple. I don’t know if you know this, but the Dalai Lama talks about, try different meditations, and he says, just give it a trial run. And for the Dalai Lama, the trial run is ten years. So two months and a few days seems like a pretty easy, uh, thing to try it. Just give it a shot and see what it is. Do you know who Lou Holtz is? You’ve heard that name?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Have heard this name? Remind me.

Jonathan DeYoe: Well, he has a saying, right? When everything is said and done, a lot more gets said than done. And I’m wondering, just to really simplify this for people, if someone’s out there and they’re swimming in the negative soup and they can’t get themselves out of it, what is the one thing they should do? What is one thing they can do today, I realize you gave us this tool. Is that the recommendation, or is it go read a book? Is it, how do we start injecting these positive things into our lives so we can change the mindset? That’s the first part of the question. And then the second part of the question is, I’ve interviewed probably a dozen folks on mindset here, and there are thousands of people that talk about mindset. And there’s all kinds of programs and all kinds of people that talk about, they can fix it. They can fix it. Is there anyone that you read and you think, this person is crazy? They should not be talking, and don’t name the name, but is there a process or something that you’re like, I wish people wouldn’t hear this because it’s not beneficial? So what’s one thing that people can do and then one people that people might hear about and they really shouldn’t and maybe should just ignore?

Jonathan DeYoe: It sounds like those. That’s perfect answer. It sounds like. And I appreciate the tools that I can apply to myself. I used to start with that, and now I’m becoming right, that combo. But it looks like you can also apply the same thing to somebody else, and that’s really what someone comes and they’re sort of toxic. What would you rather do? You’re sort of saying you’re giving them the tool to kind of lift themselves out of this mire and keep yourself from going in the mire as well. I think the second part of that, leaving a friend or a family member or less time, that’s very difficult. Also, sometimes you have to do it, and, uh, I totally get that. Is there anything we have not touched on that you really want our audience to know about?

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: They did some research on brains. There’s such a thing as the brain Olympics of people that are really good at memorizing stuff. I’m not sure if you’re aware of this. Worldwide games, and they have to memorize two shuffled decks of cards in that order, and then they have 1 minute to do that, or there’s 200 pictures with names. They have 1 minute to memorize everybody’s name. And then anyway, people that win these games, they have done some research on their brain. So they tested these people’s brains, and you know what they found out, jonathan? Their brain is average. That’s great news for you and I because my brain is probably very much average, too. And if these people have figured out how to really tap into the power of their brain and can do these amazing stuff, things with their brains, so can we you have and everybody that’s listening, you have the most powerful and complex structure of the universe at your service, and we can tap into it. And that’s the biggest message that I would like to leave you with, is trust your power. You are absolutely amazing if you have a brain. I’m not sure if everybody that’s listening to the podcast does have one. I would like to think that, yes, I hope so.

Jonathan DeYoe: Tell us how people can connect with you. Where do they find you if they want to reach out? And then social media, whatever.

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Thinkyourself.com is my website. You can go to thinkyourself.com schedule. I’m happy to have a free virtual coffee with anyone in your audience. My email is Nathalie with an hnathalie@thinkysoft.com. And all my social media are either Nathalie p. Nathalie p. Thinkyourself. You’ll find me on different platforms. There’s one thing that I haven’t said, and I know you have a hard stop. And I’ll keep my story as short as possible about money, because we believe that money will make us happy. And I do work with different, uh, organization in Haiti, and I don’t have to tell you that Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world. And one night, I’m teaching the kids the circle of excellence. And it’s a technique. You draw a circle, imaginary circle on the ground. And when you don’t feel good, you step in the circle, you power pose, and it makes you feel better. So they’re listening. They’re attentive. They’re always smiling. I love these kids. And one of the young girl, Angelina, asks, okay, wait, when are we going in the circle again? And then I say, well, you know, when you’re not happy, when you don’t feel good. So she says, aren’t we happy all the time? So now I’m like, I’m just about to cry. I don’t know what to say. And I said, you know what? Uh, never mind. This is a technique we use in Canada. This is just for us. When we’re not happy, we do this. You don’t need this technique here. You guys are always happy. Yeah, that’s what I said. So Juvan slay, one of the twin brothers, grabs my hand, and he says, what? Uh, you are not happy in Canada. You have everything in Canada. And then they all come to hug me, because by this time, I’m bawling and I can’t speak anymore. And they’re all hugging me to console me because poor me. I’m not happy in Canada.

Jonathan DeYoe: The goal is never money.

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Yes. If these little human beings that have nothing can be happy all the time, I think we’re going to be. Yeah.

Jonathan DeYoe: Thanks very much for the story, Nathalie Thanks for coming on. All this stuff will be in the show notes. Thank you very much.

Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas: Thank you for having me.